#Wayment
Before you cue the Destiny’s Child or crank up your Boosie, I encourage you to halt in your I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T tracks and read the remainder of this post!
To the brothers who came across this post and reside at the corner of “In Your Feelings Drive” & “Simp Lane” reading is fundamental and I will not be kowtowing to your sensitivities or insecurities today.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program! Yes girl, you heard me right, YOU DON’T NEED A MAN and I’m here to give you 3 reasons why!
Number 1!
You don’t need a man… to be happy! Now this is not some I can do bad all by myself, men ain’t ish rant. I love my brothers and I LOVE relationships (happy, healthy, equally yoked relationships). As a matter of fact I look forward to the day when I am in a happy, healthy, committed relationship.
Any time Michael B. Jordan wants to show up I’ll be ready lol.
I mean LOOK at that face, our babies would be beautiful… MOVING ON!
However, I am not sitting around waiting on a man to give my life meaning or to make my life enjoyable.
Honey in this millennial kind of world I’m glad I’ve got my girls, life is LIT right about now and yours can be too! Shout out to my girls!
If all you ever do is whine about how you hate sleeping alone, or how you wish you had a BAE to cuddle with, or you compare yourself to other women because you don’t understand how a “certain type of woman” has a man and you don’t… GIRL, GET IT TOGETHER! From the sound of it, YOU don’t like being in your own company so what man is going to want to be around you! Look I’m not saying you’re not a great catch, for all I know you’re farm raised, grass fed catfish!
BKA the Greatest Catch of ALL TIME!
You are probably the Taraji P. Henson of the dating world, but the reality is you are currently single and you need to get out there and enjoy life. If you decide you can only be happy if you have a built in plus one then you ain’t living right!
What, that line is hilarious!
You don’t need a man to be happy! You need to decide to turn off Netflix, get off of your couch and ENJOY your life! We all have a pre-determined number of days, why should anyone spend the bulk of their days waiting for someone else to add value to their life? I’ve been there, I GET IT! I’ve been the 3rd wheel (sometimes the 5th & 7th wheel, because I’m talented like that lol) on more occasions than I’d like to count! It’s not always fun being the odd man out, but you have to create your own fun. Start the service project you’ve been meaning to embark on, hit EVERY concert within a 250 mile radius (The Glo Up Crew is coming for you Cincinnati), start a book club, sit outside on your porch with a book and a mimosa! Kick it as hard as your budget and your lifestyle will allow! Find some inner peace, go to therapy, get some healing, drop those unwanted pounds, ENJOY LIFE! Let’s be honest, whatever guy is going to be your guy will probably fall for the effervescent you he sees out here in these dating streets anyway!
Which is totally NOT the reason you should start to live your best life, it is a perk tho!
So unless you’re planning to marry Bob the FedEx guy (don’t say yes, Bob already has a girl), GET OUT & Enjoy Life! Got it? Good! On to the next!
NUMBER 2!
You don’t need a man because you don’t know what you want! But I do know what I want you say, I want a good man who treats me right and loves me for me. Sweetie, that’s about as clear as the dishwater at my Granny’s house after all of the supper dishes had been washed. I mean really know what you want!
This is not where you go all Chili crazy from that TV show where she showed all of us she wasn’t over Usher. I mean some real stuff!
Do you need to be of the same faith, is it okay if he has kids, does it matter if he’s been divorced? How important is work ethic, does he need to be driven, is traveling important to you? Does he need to be financially stable, do you want children, do you want to get married, does he need to be woke?
YES, YES, YES! Bae ain’t Bae if Bae don’t pray and fight social injustice! I know he’s married I just needed to find a way to feature him on the site!
You need to really know what matters to you! You don’t need a man because you have NO IDEA what kind of man you want! Have you seen the video of the preacher who says, ASK A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS WHILE DATING?
My stance is a little different; ASK YOURSELF A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS BEFORE DATING! My non-negotiables are set! There really is no flexibility on these topics, you have to have an individual relationship with Christ, want to be married, want to have children WITH ME, be hard working, have goals for yourself, be family oriented, and love me (what I didn’t say love wasn’t important) just to name a few. If you don’t figure out what kind of man you want, you can EASILY (WILL ALMOST DEFINITELY) end up with any old man! Then you’re sitting around the coffee table at your homegirl’s house like some bootleg scene from Waiting to Exhale trying to figure out where you went wrong with Joe?
You know where you went wrong, agreeing to date number 2 after he said, I’m not really a church person, I’m a spiritual guy!
You know what else is spiritual, A DEMON!
Baby for the love of all good weaves stop choosing “Partners with Potential Pet Projects.” If he doesn’t check the boxes it’s ok to walk away! Have you ever walked into the store looking for Black Pumps and left with Brown Sandals instead? Did you rationalize in your head that maybe the brown sandals would work with your outfit? Did you say I mean it’s still a good shoe, I’m gonna give the brown sandal a try? NOPE! You left that store and went to another store or went home empty handed because you knew what you wanted and you weren’t sacrificing! DO THAT WITH GUYS TOO! Know what you want and choose wisely!
Also, make sure you can offer something that mirrors or complements what you’re asking for! Don’t ask for a man with a 750 credit rating if yours is a 432. Don’t be on the lookout for a man who loves the Lord when you and Jesus only know each other through osmosis. Don’t require a man who is a good father and you’re a subpar mother.
Was that your toe? Sorry, not sorry.
Being equally yoked is a two way street, stop looking for a man to rescue you! This ain’t a Disney special and you’re not some animated princess, don’t ask him to bring the table, the chairs, the dishes, and the meal and you’re only bringing a growling stomach.
NUMBER 3!
Lastly, you don’t need a man because you don’t know what to do with one!
Oh honey this is where it gets real, pull up a seat.
To my sisters who are still operating on level basic, let me be the first to break it to you, cooking a good meal, keeping a clean house, and sexual prowess can only get you so far. Anyone can be taught to cook ( Worst Cooks in America proved that), everybody and their mama has a cleaning service, and well that last one is as easy to find as sliding in someone’s DMs. So what else do you have?! Smothered pork chops, Lysol, and the Kama Sutra keeps a man about as well as an empty cooler keeps milk, not very! Can you be encouraging, are you supportive, do you pray for him? Are you his friend and his lover, can he depend on you, do you add to his life or are you only in the business of making withdrawals? Do you have goals for yourself, how is YOUR spiritual life, are you working to maintain your fine?
What?! That matters, you want him fine you need to be fine too! Jazmine is KILLING!
Are you fun to be around, what is your dating history, CAN YOU COMMIT?! Somewhere along the way Disney and Katherine Heigl movies made us think that we don’t have to be of any value and we all deserve a man, a good one at that. Lies told by FOX NEWS!
It’s her fault, I blame her!
Would you ever give your car keys to an 8 year old, or let your toddler operate the stove?! Nope, and you wanna know why?! Because they can’t handle the responsibility of operating either of those machines. You don’t need a man because you don’t know what to do with one! I’m not talking about this new generation of EffBoys either, I’m talking about the “good man” you claim is in short supply. For that man, you need to learn how to be a mate before you start looking for a partner, IJS! You can’t be looking for a partner with the skills of Serena Williams when you’re at best Maria Sharapova.
ALL SHADE INTENDED!
Look sis, I want you to be happy. If part of that happiness means you’re in a relationship, I want that for you too, but I don’t want you to be disillusioned. The reality is that some of us will be single well into our 30s, reality is not every woman gets married, reality is you will find a lot of duds before you find a diamond, reality is some of us have a lot more growing to do than we’d like to admit.
So what are you waiting for huh, what are you waiting for?!
Live your best life, be unapologetically happy, figure out what you want, and what you have to offer! You don’t need a man for any of that!
CONTROVERSIAL CASS 