Disclaimer: I am not fatally ill nor am I having thoughts of suicide. Just keep reading; the title will make sense by and by…

If the Pokémon has taught me nothing else it has shown me that the only guarantee we have in life is that it will ultimately come to an end. Throughout the Pez Dispenser many of us have lost someone we love; we’ve also collectively witnessed the passing of widely known public figures. Recent transitions include GIANTS (like Cicely Tyson), JERKS (like Rush Limbaugh), and people whose legacies lie somewhere in between (like Dustin Diamond).

I’m sure the post-mortem police are about to chastise me for “speaking ill of the dead” with respect to Racist Rush. Before you flex your Twitter fingers let me hit you with a few headlines…

1. We speak ill of the dead all the time! Adolf Hitler is never held in high regard when people mention him. That’s because he was an awful person who did awful things! We just report the facts!
2. I am a person who respects autonomy. We choose the lives we lead and ipso facto we choose the legacies we leave behind. Rush Limbaugh was unapologetically racist; I have no qualms about acknowledging that aspect of his identity because he wanted us to know he was bout that bigotry life.
3. I don’t believe in making ANYONE something in death that they weren’t in life.

This is why I cringe when y’all write “he|she|they came to know The Lord at an early age” in folks’ obituaries in an attempt to posthumously baptize them. – That ain’t how this works beloved but I hope we see Cousin So & So inside the gates anyway!

4. Lastly, and most importantly I SAID WTF I SAID!

A few years ago a friend and I collaboratively (and unintentionally) crafted a quote that has been a guiding principle in how I live my life. 

“Live like you’ve got a legacy to leave behind and a Heaven to get to…”

Eventually all of our clocks will hit 00:00 and there will be somebody (or several somebodies) who will mourn the fact that our earthly lives have ended. It is OUR responsibility to write the story we want them to tell. The life you live is the legacy you leave, PERIODT. There are no edits, revisions, or rewrites. Once the tag hits your toe that book is bound and set in stone!

What I appreciate about the statement made by Dustin Diamond’s PR team is that it was honest. It acknowledged the fullness of who he was; he was not painted as perfect and didn’t need to be in order for those who loved him to mourn him. They mourned the man he was – good, bad, and ugly – while not trying to rewrite the life he lived. They honored the choices he made in life after he transitioned to death.

This point brings me back to my original statement. DON’T LIE WHEN I DIE! God willing I won’t be transitioning any time soon. HOWEVER, when that time comes if you lie and tell somebody I was the nicest person you’d ever want to meet I’m going to haunt you. I’ll hide all of your spoons and forks, put Legos in your shower, & run up your light bill. WE WILL HAVE BEEF!

I’m going to Heaven so I think the appropriate phrase is we will have the fatted calf but I digress. There I go digressing again!

I’m admittedly not a nice person. I’m a good person but nice ain’t my baseline.

What I am is a God-fearing woman who fiercely loves people, champions those the world tries to take advantage of, and doesn’t subscribe to what society says a woman should be.

I’m a woman’s woman and specifically I am the Black woman’s sister. I fight against oppression and injustice! I stand on my convictions; never backing down from doing what I believe is right. I live my life on my own terms (with the Holy Spirit’s guidance) and will do so until there’s no life left to live. 

When my time comes, honor the choices I have actively made about living my life. I promise to do the same for you. I don’t need to make you perfect or palatable to the world in order to know, love, and miss you. 

P.S. – If you’re a jerk I’ll be honest about that and the fact that I loved you anyway. 

P.P.S. – If you don’t like me and will try to distort my narrative if you happen to outlive me, it’s gone be some smoke outside the 12 gates to the city whenever your time comes! Because even in Heaven WE CAN RUN IT!

P.P.P.S. – Please don’t photoshop me into them clouds y’all.

Argue with me in the comments, tell me what legacy you’re planning to leave, and if you feel so inclined give me some of the flowers you have for me while I can still smell them!

#CassOut